“The heart was made to be broken”-Oscar Wilde. Not one of my favourite sayings I have to admit. You see, I’m an optimist. I’ll admit that much for free. I tumble headfirst into things. I always have and I always will. Whether it be study, work, family, friends or hobbies. I will always give it absolutely everything I’ve got. I am not embarrassed by this fact. I have never been one for doing things half-heartedly. I don’t think I’ve ever used the phrase; “I’m not arsed”. It’s the same when it comes to matters of the heart. It makes me squirm to write this but it’s true.
“Ew”; you say.
“Here she goes”.
“Don’t make me puke, Gráinne.”
I can identify with such reactions. In fact, writing that did make me get sick a little bit inside my mouth. But I’ll go on. I have a tendency to invest quite lot of my time and effort into the people in my life when I love them. That’s why when things fall apart, I nearly always seem to land flat on my face. There is usually a multitude of tears, followed by an excess of some sort: binge eating, binge drinking and yelling at inanimate objects; sometimes animate: poor doggy/family/friends/random people I don’t know on the internet. Finally, there is (very eventual) acceptance. I have had my turn as the breaker. I have been the broken (lol so deep). I have even been that quality friend who passes you tissues while you sit in a toilet cubicle in Eddie Rocket’s after a night out, drunkenly crying your mascara off over the creepy ex’s latest crimes. I wonder if anyone else has used the gem: “You can do so much better than him. He was a slut anyway.” Solid advice. Works ninety percent of the time on the intoxicated. Anyway, the point is, I’ve seen a fair amount (not a lot, but a fair amount) when it comes to heartbreak. That’s why when a friend of mine suggested that I write a post on it I thought; “Yes, ok, this will be interesting”. However, I was stumped. How do I write something on heartbreak that won’t come across as soppy, fake or worse yet, just plain stupid? How to I reach out to those currently feeling, well, crappy about l’amour? The thing is, I couldn’t think of anything to say. There is nothing you can say that will help people when they have just been broken-up with or (somehow always, always worse) rejected. As Britney Spears once said: “You can’t give advice to the broken-hearted”. I got that quote on the internet so its authenticity is questionable.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with things, some do it better than others. Side note: some hide it better than others too. I only know of one trick that works EVERYTIME. It’s making doctors everywhere furious!! If you don’t get this reference then you need to leave. No, seriously though; it’s time. Give it time, focus on yourself and your own life. As much as you need to. It could take until tomorrow. It could take until the end of the week. You might still feel the same in a year or even in two, but trust me. Eventually, you will struggle to picture what their face looks like in your head. Give up on those who don’t care about you. They’re not worth a single second of your time. They’re not worth a fart in the wind. Focus on what makes you happy. Or else, one day you’ll realise that you’ve actually committed so much of yourself to this person that you don’t have a clue who YOU are! Waste of time. Total Utter Shlutter. And you can’t force someone to like you. It’ll never happen.
Do you know what the saddest thing is? The right person for you is more than likely out there going about their daily life without the faintest idea of who you are. And you can’t stop thinking about the way Mr fancy-pants’, perfect-human’s, object-of-your affection’s hair catches in the light?
You have better things to be doing, kiddo.
Dedicated to my good friend Prateesh Chauhan. You’ve got a heart of gold, lad.
Here’s a song that’s about well, you know, heartbreak. And cats.