The Journal of a Seasonal, Mild Insomniac

It’s the middle of the night when I wake. I initially feel confused and weirded out; the ghost of a dream flickers away into the stuffy air.  It’s still dark out, and hot; my eyes are as muggy and I flounder about the bedside table looking for my phone to check the time.4.37 AM. Upsettingly, I knock a glass of water on top of myself and the lukewarm liquid runs down my arm. I am now drenched, annoyed and wide awake. An average mid-summers night that doesn’t involve donkeys or magic.

My own Mid-Summer Night's Dream

My own Mid-Summer Night’s Dream

When it is cold (which is pretty much 97% of the time where I live) I sleep lightly, but well.

When it is hot (my definition of hot being anything above 20 degrees celsius) I do not sleep. I get rings as dark as a Dementor’s baby under my eyes and become a shadow of my former self. I turn into a horrible person who literally growls at people during daylight hours.

Sleep is gold dust to me.

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Recently, for a number of reasons, I have been given cause to appreciate my life and some of the simple yet great aspects of it, such as sleep. Cheesy it may be, but everyone seems to just speed through everyday on some kind of automated mode, not acknowledging how utterly lucky they are to have a car, never mind shoes, or would you believe it, feet to go places with. A small number seem to feel comfortable fermenting in the perceived “mundanity of life”, all the while complaining about the economy, weather and whatever else they don’t understand. I wholeheartedly admit that I too am guilty of giving out about the trivial. Who isn’t? It’s natural. It feels good to complain.

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Anyway, I’m here to do the opposite. I’m here to “not complain”. I’m here to say that I am thankful for everything that has been handed to me. I am in general good health, I am of sound mind (at least I think so, the day I stop asking questions I’ll reconsider) and sort-of sound body (I should probably go for a run tomorrow). My family and friends are always one-hundred percent supportive and there for me. All this plus the added bonus of having food, water and a house to live in. I am in third-level education despite my gender/nationality/status/age/anything else that in my opinion is totally irrelevant. I’m also one of the lucky ones who isn’t oppressed, abused, discriminated against, down-trodden or illiterate. I have ten fingers and ten toes. I have a modest bank account. I’ve got my FREEDOM. I have some sort of spirituality (no religion yet; maybe someday, probably not). Everything I could ever need and want. I add on to this list a part-time job and I already have more than a dozen things to be happy for. Oh and it doesn’t stop there, but I won’t say anymore.

I’VE GOT MY LIVER.

Sorry I couldn’t help it.

The most fascinating and frustrating thing about humans is that so many,although deserving of it, don’t
have many of the things I have. And yet they are happy in spite of it. There are people in this life who have nothing, not even a scrap of clothing to put on their backs. Remarkably, they are so unbelievably grateful to be alive. Conversely, there are people who drive around in their ferraris, the boot stuffed with Prada bags and shoes, weeping their eyes out on the inside, trying to dry the tears with more money. Trying to fill a gap that’s just getting bigger. I’m not saying that having money is a bad thing at all, just an excess of money. As a wise woman once said; “Money can’t buy happiness, but it does make things a lot easier when you are unfortunate.”

All the same I still think that this image is quite powerful:
money

So yeah, sleep is wonderful. A dear friend. It’s great. But if I still get to keep my eyesight/ literacy/ fresh drinking water, I’ll shut-up with the complaining in future and pick up a book until I fall asleep again. At least I’ve a nice bed to sit on while I wait.

Hardcore

Hardcore

I’VE GOT MY LIVER.

Black-I-Love-My-Liver-Junior-s-Tees

This post is dedicated to my liver. You take up most of the anterior abdominal cavity, something I didn’t realise until I studied anatomy. You are an absolutely massive part of my life and I am so grateful for all the glycogen you have stored and fats you have broken down for me over the years. Also, I heard that you are the only organ that can regenerate? Award to the most underrated organ ever! Thank you for everything. I love you.

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